Musings and Snoozes

Step by step

I have just been for a walk. Because I wanted to. I suggested it, it was preferable to sitting and I actually chose to get up and go. This may not seem very exciting or even note-worthy to the rest of you, but for me this is quite a breakthrough. I can’t remember the last time I voluntarily wanted to get up and move, and I certainly can’t remember the last time I was able to walk more than half a mile and not be in quite intense pain. Of course this being me, I probably should have stuck to half a mile, not got too excited and not walked too far, before remembering I had to walk all the way back. Anyway, there’s a lesson there and I’m totally learning it.

Baby steps, but baby steps are a start ๐Ÿ™‚

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Fresh starts and new beginnings

New Beginning

So, this is about to be my final week at work and also my final full week in this house. After that it’s all change, which both terrifies me and excites me! After the initial excitement of getting offered the new job and then finally finding somewhere to live (after what seemed like an eternity looking, despite only actually being a few weeks!), all the little worries and what if’s are starting to creep in a little. Mostly just inevitable things “what if I hate the new job?” andย  “what if the house is a disaster?”, but I’m trying to be positive and at the end of the day, I can’t help but feel that a fresh start is probably exactly what I need.

My biggest fear about the new job was about how I’d cope with the Fibromyalgia and if I should even tell them, let alone get support. This was quashed pretty quickly though by the medical questionnaire that came with my contract and which actually specified Fibro and ME, so that made the decision about whether to tell them or not! I then spent a good week or so worrying that they might not offer me the job or wonder why I hadn’t mentioned it before, but no, all I got was a lovely email from the Occupational Health department asking me if I needed any special adjustments for my job or if I wanted to make an appointment with them for a referral. To be honest I couldn’t think of anything I needed (despite friends and family suggesting a chaise longue, cake, and longer lunch breaks!), but to even be asked makes me very hopeful about working for them! Also, the contract is initially only for 9 months so if I find I can’t cope (or if I hate it!) then at least I’ve got an ‘out’, though financially I’d prefer it if it didn’t come to that!

Which brings me to the house. Tbh I think the only worry I’m having about the house is because of having to find so much money for it and I’m just hoping it’ll be worth it! I absolutely detest borrowing money off people, but we’ve had to swallow our pride a little bit and just accept that moving house isn’t possible without it. I think once we’re moved in and it looks like home I’ll feel a lot better about the place, but until then I suspect there might be a few more sleepless nights about whether we’ve done the right thing or are moving to the right place etc. Again though, just like the job, the house is only for a set period of time, so after that we can move if it’s all gone a bit wrong!

But negatives and worries aside, I really am quite excited about what’s to come. Things are starting to look up and I fully intend to make the most of the next few months to see where things go. Just one more week to get through at work and a hell of a lot of packing to be done first….


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Atchoo! (Or however you spell it)

So I am currently holed up at home, sniffling and sneezing and generally feeling quite sorry for myself. I immensely resent being off work with what is essentially a cold, but I decided that not actually being able to breathe, talk, or see (beautifully swollen face) warranted a day of moping. Plus I didn’t think it was a good idea to be training a potential new person at work while sneezing and coughing all over them.

So here I am, moping, while watching Buffy and eating my bodyweight in Doritos and chocolate mini rolls, both of which I can almost taste now. Jon’s gone out to house hunt for us – I decided no estate agent was going to give us a house with me looking like I do – and I think he’s been quite successful. It’s driving me mad not being settled and not knowing where we’re going to be living. I just want it all sorted and to have a nice little house near Amersham, with a pretty little garden and probably some fairy lights and then I will be content. Apparently it doesn’t happen that easily though, and rather unreasonably these things seem to cost money *sigh*

Right I think the drugs have kicked in and I’m getting rambly. Back to the mini rolls….

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And so it must follow….

….that going half way across the world and back in the space of 5 days will have consequences. While I don’t actually feel all that tired, my head is swimming, nothing will stay still longer than 10 seconds and I’m having a distinct problem forming sentences. Essentially I feel drunk without any of the good bits! As I’m back at work tomorrow, I’m hoping this subsides pretty quickly, otherwise it’s going to be a very unpleasant day :/

All that said though, it’s totally worth it for the amazing few days I’ve just had. The wedding was beautiful; outside from start to finish, ceremony on the beach, dinner by fairy lights and a couple who clearly love each other to pieces. It was also lovely to see little Xenia properly for the first time and meet all of Anna’s family, who couldn’t have been more welcoming.

I’ve also discovered a love for Thai food, in particular (and somewhat shockingly), all sorts of fresh fruit. It’s even inspired me to go out and buy a pineapple, which I’ve always been convinced I hated and that tbh, I’ll probably be a bit disappointed with, not least because I have to prepare it myself and its not just there in pretty shapes in front of me! But I’m willing to give it a go-you never know, this could be the start of eating healthily, as opposed to living on lime Doritos and chocolate biscuits! Here’s hoping… ๐Ÿ™‚

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