Musings and Snoozes

A little relapse is a good thing, sometimes.

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Sometimes a mini fibro relapse does me some favours. Yes it hurts, yes it’s frustrating, yes it stops me doing things (I should be at agility with belladog right now), but despite all that, it does remind me that this illness is not all in my head.

I spend so much of my time trying to be OK, convincing others that I’m fine, that there’s nothing wrong that sometimes I believe it too. Which is great, right? Well yes it is, positive thinking is amazing and is what helps me more than anything. I think without it I’d spend my life being a miserable, self-pitying burrito, but it can also go a step too far. After all, if I’m ok, if I can do the things I want then maybe I’m not sick. And that’s a pretty fine line – positive thinking  to keep me going, and positive thinking that turns into self doubt.

So without getting too maudlin, I can’t help but be a little bit grateful for the odd relapse. I do bloody well on a daily basis, but sometimes you just need to be a burrito for a while. If you need me, I’ll be under my blanket.

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