Musings and Snoozes

Normality, I think that’s what this is!

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Sat in Starbucks, chai latte in hand, new glasses (two new pairs in fact) and a good book. I think I might finally be feeling a bit more like myself. Which is impressive really, given that I got approximately half an hour’s sleep last night. One day back at work and insomnia kicks in. It can do one tonight, I need some sleep!

Gluten free has been going for a week, and so far so good. I haven’t cheated (not even for the cookies that are still hiding in the cupboard) and I’m actually quite enjoying it. I’ve no idea if it’ll help with the aches and pains, but I do think it’ll make me eat healthier in general, and that is no bad thing. It’s making me order things I wouldn’t usually when we’re out, and making me cook things from scratch in a way I haven’t done for a long time when I’m at home. The test will be now I’m back at work and whether I have the energy to keep up the cooking and more importantly, the planning. I’ve relied on emergency tesco meals for so long now that I’ve forgotten what it’s like the plan and organise meals in advance! Quinoa and GF pasta will be my friends I think!

Other than that, the medication changes are for once in my life, going well. The amitriptyline replacement does exactly what it’s supposed to, but without making me feel like a numb and depressed zombie. Yay. I’m only on tablet 3 of the mega vitamin D dosage so I don’t know if that’s working yet, but I have high hopes for it. Now if I could just shake off the final exhaustion from being ill then I’d be pretty much right as rain, or y’know, as right as rain as you get with three chronic illnesses!

All in all though, it’s good to be a lizard.

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The time has come, the walrus said….

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…to finally give in and admit that being gluten free could really improve my fibromyalgia (and let’s be honest, probably my health in general!)

I’ve been contemplating it for about six months now, but every time I look at a fresh white baguette or remember the packet of cookies I have in the cupboard, all resolve disappears and I decide I can’t be arsed. But, having been so ill the past week or so (and to be honest, a good couple of weeks before too), even I have to admit that anything is worth a go. Plus I can’t deny that whilst eating a huge bowl of pasta washed down with a side of baguette is bloody amazing at the time, it really doesn’t do me any good afterwards.

So, the cookies, the Frosties, the bread and the pasta have all been gotten rid of (or hidden) and I have stocked up on all the gluten free alternatives. I feel the ginger biscuits aren’t quite going to replace my love of chocolate chip cookies, and nor will I be able to eat them at the same rate given the bloody price of them (grumble grumble), but I hope once I start feeling a bit brighter that I can get back to baking and cooking my own treats and meals.

So day 1 complete. I haven’t died. I’m not starving. And I haven’t had to resort to fishing the packet of cookies out of the bin. I don’t however promise that I won’t dream of fresh white baguettes tonight…

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Just a blip, nothing to see here

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So I gave in and had a bit of a cry this evening. It takes a lot to make me cry about myself. Sad movies, animal cruelty, random acts of kindness…I’ll cry at the drop of a hat at any of them, but I don’t do crying for me very often.

It was of course all instigated by Jon being the amazing husband that he is and offering to go out to buy me medically required jelly, bacon, and croissants. First it was “Oh you’re so lovely” tears and then it was “this is shit,  I shouldn’t be in this much pain and I shouldn’t need looking after at 28” angry tears. But I do feel better for it. Still angry, but slightly lighter.

So I’ve taken some mega painkillers (the dihydrocodeine that I hate), the pooch is sat with me, I’ve spoken to my mum, and the husband is on his way with my supplies. I am bloody lucky. It might be shit and it may be unfair, but not everyone gets croissants and jelly delivered on request.

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