Musings and Snoozes

#GoodAndBadDays

on October 2, 2015

One of the nicest things people say to me is “Oh my goodness, you’d never know you were ill”. Honestly, it does my heart good to know I’m not walking round looking like death and that I might keel over any second.

But it does have its downside. When I’m having a tricky day, the kind where even sitting down hurts and every noise and movement feels like it might tip me over the edge, it’s hard to know that on the outside I just look like my usual happy, healthy self.

Now don’t for a minute think that I’m wishing I looked like death on a daily basis, I’m not. Trust me, knowing that people don’t suspect a thing means that I’m still winning at life as far as I’m concerned, but trying to explain that you feel like you’ve got a bad case of flu crossed with a three day hangover really isn’t easy when you’re still standing up and getting on with things.

So that’s where #GoodAndBadDays comes in. If, like me, you follow any sort of invisible illness group on social media then you may have seen some of these posts already, but the idea is simple – photos of how you look to the world on your good days (or at least functioning days) along with photos of the days that people don’t get to see, the ones where you physically can’t get out of bed, and when you can’t pretend that everything’s ok. It’s a pretty powerful idea and shows just how different someone’s life is when the illness gets the better of you.

So here’s my little collage – the good, the ok, and the bad. I don’t let many people see me on my bad days (and what you don’t see here is the walking stick, the hot and cold flannels, or the drugs!). I don’t even let myself admit how bad things can get sometimes, so here is a rare moment of bravery for the sake of a much needed understanding of life with an invisible illness.
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