Musings and Snoozes

In the immortal words of Winnie the Pooh

on October 28, 2015

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Dear Dad,

I won’t make this sappy. We didn’t do sappy all that much while you were here, so there’s probably no need 9 years later. But I do miss you and I do wish you were here.

I wonder what you’d make of everything in my life now. Pretty sure you’d bloody love the pooch. You were a sap for dogs – no one will forget you falling in love with Tilly after insisting that you really didn’t do small dogs. Like father like daughter there it seems – I went to look at a Rottie and came back with a Jack Russel, If it’s possible, I reckon Bella would be even more spoiled than she is now if you were around. She’d certainly be a fair few pounds heavier, especially with your cooking!

And how I miss your cooking! I’d like to think I inherited some skill there, though I can’t help but still feel you standing behind me making the odd comment or three. “Oh, you do it like that do you……..” for instance. You’d hate my kitchen – too small and too much stuff everywhere. I did inherit your shopping skills though – I think Jon might have to stop letting me go to Tesco unsupervised soon.

The end of the F1 season is coming up in the next few weeks. You’d be pleased to know that I’ve occasionally been known to nod off half way through a race too. And then insist I was just resting my eyes of course! You wouldn’t be all that impressed with the changes in rules since we last spent Sunday afternoons in front of the TV – too much tyre management and not enough excitement. Plus all our favourite drivers are commentators now – how did that happen?!

You’d love Bug though! Or at least you’d laugh at Bug, but secretly be impressed. You’d certainly be proud that I eventually turned into the petrol-head that you probably always hoped I would! It was a bit touch and go for a while – as you know, I had no interest at 17 when everyone else was learning. I can’t say as it got much better when I finally learned and passed at 24, but a few months later and I realised what you’d always loved about driving, and now you can barely separate me from the driver’s seat. I’ve done alright with the car buying too – your insider motor trade skills have served me well – I certainly won’t be bullshitted by some smarmy dealership sales dude that’s for sure!

I’m off to Ireland next month with work – you’d be bloody loving that. Mum’s already asked me to pack her in my suitcase, you’d have probably booked a flight by now knowing you. I must admit, it seems kind of apt that my job now focusses on a country that you loved so much and had so many links with. Gabriel asked me all about you and mum the other day – it made me quite proud to tell him how you lived there and talk about it a bit. I’m looking forward to going back, though i’m a bit aware that I haven’t been since we went that summer, which makes me sad. I’ll be sure to find something in your honour though while I’m there.

And then there’s everything going on with my health. I sometimes wish you were here to hug me and tell me it’ll all be ok. I wish you could reassure mum too when she worries about me, which I know she does. I’m stubborn though – can’t imagine who I get that from – and most days I really am ok. It’s hard, but I’m really learning how to change the little things to make everything that bit easier. You’d laugh at my purple flowery crutch and my brightly coloured medial bracelet, but I know it’s only what you’d expect.

Most importantly, I’m blissfully happily married and you’re not here to see it. I can’t believe you didn’t get to walk me down the aisle like I always thought you would, but mum did a fine job in your place 🙂 You’d love Jon – he’s as daft as you and I’d forever be being ganged up on were you here too, He’s probably a little bit more like you than I care to admit, not least because no matter how smart he is, he still always looks like an unmade bed – just like mum reckons you always did! I’ve even got him going to folk festivals and listening to proper music – you’d be dead impressed! He still needs a bit more educating, but I’m working on him.

What I wouldn’t give to have you here to share all this with, but I’m pretty secure in the knowledge that wherever you are, you know perfectly well what’s going on in my life. I can still hear you calling me Chuckie, teasing me, and being generally baffled by my ever-changing hair colour and love of Doc Martens. I think you’d be proud though, after all, everyone knows I get it all from you 🙂

x

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