Musings and Snoozes

Just pick it up and put it to one side

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It may sound simple, but separating how I feel from who I am has been some of the best advice I’ve ever received. That’s not to say I’m all that good at following it, but when I do, it’s amazing what a difference it makes.

I’ve always been someone who gets completely immersed in things, people, projects, you name it – if it’s important to me in some way, I can guarantee it will at some point take over my life. Obviously this isn’t always a bad thing, I can be determined and fiercely loyal to someone or something, but I can also become overwhelmed with feelings and emotions connected with that person or thing, usually at the expense of everything else.

So when I’m angry, upset, frustrated etc all these things threaten to colour every other part of my life. Learning to take a step back and remember that I’m not sad, I just feel sad is hugely important. Once I can compartmentalise each emotion and mentally put it in its own box, then I can take a step back and carry on with an unclouded vision.

Of course every now and again it all becomes too much, I throw all the boxes around in a temper tantrum, and have a mini-meltdown, but if I can take that step back before I get to that stage, then there’s a chance that I might just be able to stay one step ahead of myself 😊

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Hold tight little girl, and this too shall pass

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I’ve always thought this. I’ve been fascinated by transition and the in-between times ever since I was a kid. Dusk and dawn possess a strange quality about them that I fell in love with from an early age – there’s something about knowing how fleeting they are before the day or night takes over.

It’s part of a bigger feeling that nothing is permanent and everything can change. Sometimes that can be a scary thought, no one wants to think about losing something good, but it can also be quite a reassuring feeling, especially when things are not how you’d like them to be.

It’s a peaceful feeling to watch the sun set and know that you’re part of a much bigger world that is constantly going on around you. I’m not talking from a religious perspective necessarily – I don’t think you have to believe in a certain deity to appreciate the wonders of the world – but that the sun rising and setting, the world turning, it all goes on regardless of your place in things. It’s a comfort I suppose. Something so out of my control that I can’t help but feel reassured that there’s more to life than the immediate.

And sometimes I need that comfort to put things into perspective. I actually started writing this post about six months ago but wasn’t able to get the words right. Now with Spring just around the corner and my life deciding to go for some interesting ups and downs, I felt I needed to revisit this to remember that there’s more to life than the now – the sun will set, but it’ll rise again the next morning.

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There’s a nap for that

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This made me giggle far more than it probably should, but it certainly seems fitting since all my latest app purchases and downloads are sleep and health related.

Number one currently is of course my Fitbit, which I am still totally in love with after a whole 8 days. Admittedly it’s not magically making me a size 8, but being the competitive soul that I am, it is making me move around much more. The choice between staying in the sofa or walking the pooch now becomes influenced by “ooh I could get my step count up if I move” and so it’s win win for both me and the pooch.

I’ve also got couple of really good new meditation/mindfulness apps. I will always swear by Headspace as a default, but it’s nice to discover new and exciting ones to go with it. Buddhify is proving particularly effective as you can tell it exactly what you’re doing, for example waking up, work break, at home, pain & illness etc, so it tailors it to fit what’s going on there and then. There’s an option for just having come home from work, which I’m finding mega useful, since I really struggle to switch off and get out of my work mindset.

Stop, Breathe & Think is another really good alternative. It works in a similar way to Buddhify, but is based on how you feel, rather than what you’re doing. So you can choose several different feelings and emotions that you’re experiencing at that moment and the app will pick the right meditation to help either emphasise the positive feelings or overcome the negative thoughts.

Couple all that with having had the fabbest birthday weekend that a girl could ask for, and I’m in a remarkably good place. Bring it on world, I think I might just be able to take you. So long as I’ve had my cup of coffee of course….

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Keep swimming lizard

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Well it’s been a while since I last checked in and quite honestly I don’t really know where to start. But being the night before my “surprise” birthday weekend, and having been made to feel so thoroughly spoilt today, I thought it was about time I dropped back in.

So…. My hair is blue and pink and purple at the moment. That seems like the most exciting update to share. I’ve had many compliments on it and I absolutely bloody love it. It’s also nicely matching my tattoos and most of clothes. Yay.

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And actually that’s one of the little things that’s keeping me going at the moment. Beautiful hair and beautiful friends! I’m not going to go into detail on here (lord knows half of you have heard enough already), but work is proving to be somewhat challenging at the moment. Partly in a positive way, I like a good challenge after all, but it’s been pretty draining and I don’t see an end to it yet. I’m trying not to let it affect everything else, but sleeping and eating properly have kind of gone by the wayside over the last few weeks. Thankfully I have many lovely people both at home and at work who are looking after me and making sure I stay sane!

And so starts my birthday weekend. The thought of which has been what’s kept me going this week! My desk was covered in sparkles and banners when I rocked up this morning, not to mention cards and presents, so I felt very loved. Plus I have been continually teased about my “surprise” party all bloody week, which I know bits and pieces about, but still not nearly enough for someone who has the patience of a two year old.

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And so here I am at mum’s, having been kicked out of the house and ordered not to return until 3pm tomorrow afternoon. The evening has been slightly blighted by the threat of mum’s house flooding due to a burst water main up the road (because clearly she hasn’t been flooded enough), but we think it’s starting to recede now, so we might be able to relax sometime soon.

So happy birthday me! Here’s to a bright and colourful year ahead with all the very awesome people I’m lucky enough to have in my life 🙂

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