Musings and Snoozes

Let no-one cage who you were meant to be

on May 11, 2016

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In a break from writing about me directly (mostly because I’m a crabby bitch this evening and really, nobody needs that), I’m going to have a good old fashioned rant about something that’s close to my heart.

I can’t say as I’m in the habit of reading Teen Vogue – even I have to gracefully admit that I’m closer to my thirties than my teens now – but this article popped up on one of the GLBTA sites that I follow on Facebook, and I couldn’t help but curiously click.

Being bisexual is still the one thing that I face prejudice over, and as teen I questioned my sexuality a hundred times over before realising that it was OK not to have to “choose”, despite what people, and in all honesty society as a whole tell us. And while I’m pretty comfortable in myself now about who I am, I still find that I frequently face the same assumptions and judgements that I did when I was fifteen and horribly confused. And if I still struggle with that now as a relatively confident 29 year old, how in the world can we expect confused teenagers to be able to be comfortable in their sexuality, and cope with the millions of questions and feelings that being a confused teenager comes with?

Being told it’s just a phase and being told that now I’ve married a guy I must be straight at last, are two of the most frustrating things to hear. What’s worse is that particularly in the case of the latter, it’s often the GLBT community themselves who are guilty of this. And that’s where I really struggle. There is such a huge amount of re-education and mindset that needs changing amongst society as a whole, that if we can’t even lead by example within our own community then how can we provide the safe spaces that teenagers need to grow and develop?

As angry and frustrated as I get, the one thing I can do is fight to make the changes that are needed, and that starts within the GLBTA community. I’m lucky in that the community we have where I work is ever growing and becoming significantly more present, and I hope that I can help build on that. There will always be certain friends at work who know more about my life than others, but if I can reach the point where being bi is just an accepted part of who I am, then that’s when I’ll know we’ve made a difference.

I’m optimistic for future generations – I think now more than ever they’re becoming much more confident in questioning who they are – but until we reach that ultimate acceptance as normality, we have to do everything we can to get rid of the stigma that being bisexual seems to bring.

So all I ask is to just think before you comment or question someone on their sexuality. Please don’t make assumptions, and don’t you dare make anyone feel any less that what they deserve to be – themselves.

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One response to “Let no-one cage who you were meant to be

  1. I hear you! Labels can just be shortcuts, which is frankly a lazy way of ‘getting to know’ someone… Yes, they help build community, and a sense of safety or solidarity, but shouldn’t be at the expense of the uniqueness of individuals (in my opinion)

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