Musings and Snoozes

“A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities”

on May 21, 2016

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So…. possibly not quite as OK as I thought I was. It’s been a long, and quite frankly, kinda shitty week and today I fell to pieces a little. Not in a dramatic way, more in a I’m just going to sleep the pain away sort of way. So I did. For approximately 24 hours solid, bar being awake enough for bacon and a brief bit of film watching from the sofa. I’d love to say I feel better for it, but I can’t say as I do yet. Maybe in the morning. Maybe.

But, pain and meh aside, I’ve enjoyed escaping into my dreams. To my friends and family my dreams are somewhat legendary (talking scones, my ex’s dog riding on the back on a motorbike with me….) and sometimes it’s fun to let my mind wander and see where it all goes. Dreams at night are much more random, but during the day if I’m dozing in and out on the sofa, then they’re much more lucid and I have a lot more control, albeit subconsciously. And the last 24 hours didn’t disappoint.

I can almost always look back and find a reason for my dreams – even the talking scone had an anchor in some sort of daytime reality, and so it doesn’t take much for me to figure out how my mind works. So unsurprisingly work was the first thing to crop up last night, and specifically the people I’m working closest with at the moment. I don’t remember the details, but I do know it involved a stand up row with someone and that I felt remarkably shaken, if not a little satisfied, about the whole thing when I woke up briefly. Thankfully it didn’t last long and it soon merged into something else entirely – being thrown into singing at a festival unexpectedly. Bizarrely the bit that stands out isn’t the panic of being thrown on stage at the last minute, or the worry of remembering the words to songs I didn’t realise I knew (although that is always an odd phenomenon in dreams when your mind conjures up things, usually song lyrics and languages in my case, that you didn’t even realise you remembered). No, the first thing I thought of when I woke up was how beautiful the sparkly microphone was and how I’d been given a beautiful copper ring with a charm as a thank you, and that I was a bit miffed that it hadn’t magically materialised on my finger. I’ll let you make your own judgements as to what that says about me…..

By this time I’d gotten up and made it onto the sofa. I stayed awake just long enough to watch Pitch Perfect (the singing dream would have made more sense *after* this, right? But no…) before I drifted off again. This time I fell straight into New York. I’ve lost track of the amount of times I’ve dreamt about being there over the last few months, but this one was made all the funnier by the fact that it didn’t centre around NY as such, but instead around the fact that Jon and I had been there for four days and I panicked because I hadn’t taken him to the bakery like I’d promised. And I know exactly where this one came from – following Dominique Ansell on bloody Instagram and looking at it right before I dozed off. Sometimes my brain is so literal and logical that I can’t help but marvel at it. It was obviously at this point that the lucid part kicked in because I then started rearranging things in my mind and changing the order of things so that we would indeed have time to go visit the bakery. Honestly, it’s good to know that my brain puts the most important things at the forefront of my mind….

There were a few more random bits and pieces (going rock climbing, finding a beautiful book on art in an old house, being taken on a date by David Couthard….) but eventually reality kicked in and I realised I’d successfully slept the whole day away. As for if it helped, we’ll have to wait and see. It felt like a nice escape though – sometimes I have to learn to just accept when my body isn’t going to work and let my mind take over instead.

And so having been out briefly for a very late dinner, I reckon it’s time for bed again. I’m not sure what my mind can possibly find to conjure up when I’ve done nothing but dream all day already, but knowing me, it’ll think of something.

Night night and sweet dreams 🌌💤

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