Musings and Snoozes

“It just takes some time, little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride”

on June 19, 2016

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I should pin this up at work, in the bathroom, in my yoga room, everywhere really. It’s worth reading and re-reading until it one day sinks in.

This weekend however, I’ve made a good start. After a bit of a hectic day on Friday, I made it to a friend’s party in a sensible yet pretty outfit (ie, we left the crippling heels at home), before heading back to the hotel when I knew my body was starting to break. I then had the best night’s sleep (I always sleep well in hotels) and spent the morning floating around the hotel pool and lying in the sauna. There is nothing like 60°c of dry heat to make the body feel better. To top it off, I went out to brunch with friends, before coming home for a much-needed lazy evening on the sofa.

Unfortunately the laziness carried on into today and I could have kind of done with a bit of motivation. By early afternoon I felt suitably guilty that Jon was outside attacking the jungle that is our garden, and so I finally found the energy to clean and tidy. Somehow I dislocated my wrist, but after a bit of yelping I sorted it out and carried on. It happens a lot, so it’s not as traumatic as it sounds, but the moral of the story is clearly that housework is dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.

As a reward for being grownups, Jon and I headed into town for dinner, and the restorative powers of sweet potato soup and a chai latte mean that I am vaguely awake for the first time all day. I tried to take advantage of this by completing my “why work should pay for my Masters” application, but I got a bit sidetracked by the football, so clearly I’ll be finishing that in the morning.

My task this week is to continue being an adult and looking after myself. I feel like a lot of things are on the cusp of change at the moment, but they won’t happen unless I learn to be kinder to myself. I did really well when I was still seeing my pain therapist, but I’ve let things slide way too much over the last few months, and so it may be time to go back to everything I learnt last year. Recognising this is always a good sign – there is a fine line between resting and moping, and I’ve done a little too much of the latter over the last few weeks.

So it started with housework today, and I have a plan for the rest of the week:

Tomorrow I shall spend half an hour after work sorting some bits in the garden. But no more, else I’ll cripple myself. I’ll wait til Jon’s home so he can shout at me.

Tuesday I’m particularly looking forward to – I have an indian head massage booked at work, and then I have a midsummer yoga class I’m going to in the evening.

Wednesday I should try and rest, maybe just doing a couple of small bits after work – probably putting away the mountain of clean washing would be a start!

Thursday I’ll go to the gym. Needless to say that’ll be it.

And Friday will be chilling, before heading to London for Pride on Saturday.

All in all, I shall look after me a bit more, not be an asshole to myself, and remember that whatever happens – good days or bad days – I AM ENOUGH. I should probably get that tattooed….

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