Musings and Snoozes

Shh, let’s just all go back to bed

on September 3, 2016

I’m lying in the bath, the windows are open, and I’m listening to the rain fall on the trees outside. So very content. 

It’s been a tricksy week – by Thursday I had to admit that I was going to run myself into a flare if I didn’t get some rest. So that’s exactly what I’ve done today. I went to bed around midnight last night and got up around 6pm this evening – 18 blissful hours of sleep. I’m pretty sure it should be physically impossible to sleep that much, but apparently my body disagrees. I only actually got up at all because Jon was on his way home with a coffee for me (and had berated me for not taking my meds), and even then I only made it as far as the couch and a blanket, but some days I just have to give in to it all and accept that this is what I need. 

And actually, it works. After many hours of sleep, some medicinal coffee, and the F1 qualifying to watch, my pain levels are down, my headache is finally fading after three days, and I think I might be almost ready to face the world again. The hardest part is remembering that it’s not a waste of a day to rest – looking after myself is a legitimate use of my time and sometimes it’s ok to do nothing at all – I have to repeat that mantra several times to believe it, but I’m getting there. 

And so the challenge now is to stay on an even keel. My therapist drew me a graph years ago of all my ups and all my downs. She then drew me what it was supposed to look like. Suffice to say the two did not match up. I should be hovering around the zero mark where I can, instead of which I live my life from +10 to -10 on a near weekly basis. So with that in mind, I am not spending tomorrow doing all the housework that needs doing, nor will I go shopping or to the gym. Instead, I’m off to spend the afternoon floating in a swimming pool, and gently roasting in the sauna. A much better use of my time and a sure fire way to keep me at the elusive zero. 

In the meantime though, I’ll just continue to enjoy the sound of the rain from my toasty warm bath, and keep repeating that mantra 🛁


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