Musings and Snoozes

“Respond to every call that excites your spirit”

on October 25, 2016

I’ve been putting off writing this because it makes the end of my holiday feel far too real. We landed Saturday lunchtime, Sunday was a write-off, and now here I am the night before going back to work for the first time in over two weeks. 

Although actually, I’m not feeling as down as I expected. I have a tendency to fall into a bit of a mope after something I’ve spent so long looking forward to, but this time round, while I can’t pretend that I’m exactly ecstatic about going back to work, I do feel a whole lot better than I did when I left. 

I’ve been trying to put my finger on what’s changed. It’s more than just a good holiday, a break, a rest – it’s something in me. Maybe it’s just timing – autumn always makes me reflect a little – falling leaves, time for a change etc, but whatever it is, I can’t help but feel excited about what’s to come. Even though I don’t know what that is yet.

I can’t put into words the feelings of the last couple of weeks. After my love letter to New York, I’m not sure I could do it justice anyway, but I’ve been happier than I have for a long time. And I’m ashamed to say that it’s an odd feeling, only because I didn’t realise I was necessarily unhappy. 

And so with almost an entirely new wardrobe, freshly dyed autumn hair, my beautiful tattoo, and a renewed sense of purpose, I feel a little like this is the start of something. I’m not sure what, but I’m excited to find out. 

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