Musings and Snoozes

Don’t believe everything you think 

Today has been stressful. There has been no reason for today to be anywhere near as stressful as it has been, but for some reason my anxiety has chosen this week to sky rocket, and make mountains out of molehills that I’m usually perfectly capable of dealing with. 

But I made it. 

I fought like hell this morning, with my brain and my body. As if I don’t fight my body enough every morning, when my brain decides to join in the fun too, it often materialises in increased pain and discomfort. So I lay in bed this morning, going over every possible way out I could think of. Could I call in sick? Could I work from home? Could I have a complete and utter mental breakdown? Clearly the answer was no to all of those things, not least the latter. For one, I’d let myself down and let the anxiety beat me. More importantly, for my pride and self esteem, I’d let my boss down, and that’s a sure fire way to kick me up the arse. 

So I did the thing. The things actually. The things that were absolutely not a big deal, and which on any other day wouldn’t even have warranted a second thought. And for once, instead of beating myself up over how stupid I was, over how I ruined my evening last night, not to mention a good night’s sleep, I’m rewarding myself for not letting it beat me. So here I am, in a nice hot bath, with a satisfyingly icky peel off face mask, my favourite music playing, and a cup of chocolate milk. Tomorrow brings all sorts of stupid things to worry over, but for now, it, and my irrational head, can do one and let me enjoy today’s little triumphs in peace. 

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