Musings and Snoozes

To the girl I once was, to who I am now, and to who I might become

on December 30, 2018

The end of the year and the prospect of a blank page always brings about a whole raft of “what have I done this year?” and “what shall I aim for next year?” I have long since learned that I am terrible at traditional resolutions, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try to aim for something.

This year has been…..well…..tricksy, exciting, heartbreaking, hopeful, full of love and amazing friends and family. And I won’t say I wouldn’t change it for the world, because quite clearly, there are certain parts of it I absolutely would. I’ve asked a lot of questions, of others, of the universe, of my faith and of my beliefs. Sometimes I’ve found answers, for the most part I’m still searching, and will continue to in 2019.

How I answer those questions is what I want to focus on over the next 12 months. Reflection for the sake of self indulgence is therapeutic sometimes, but I also want to try and learn from myself, my past, my experiences. And from other people too. We have such amazing stories to tell and share with each other and I want to hear each and every one.

A certain Lovely Lady sent me the #52SmallThings self care challenge and it absolutely appeals to me and my terrible resolution making! I love The Mighty as a resource and a support network, and this is definitely one of their more inspired ideas. It also fits in around one of my goals for next year that I’d already decided on. I always want to write more, but sometimes the goal of “do more writing” or “write every day” can be too overwhelming to be effective. So over the next 365 days I’m going to write a letter to myself. It might be to the girl I am today, or to a past self or future me, but the important thing is that I tell a story that I need to tell. I haven’t decided if I’ll share the letters here, somewhere else, or if at all, but it’s going on the #52SmallThings list and I’ll be sharing that as I go.

As I stand on the edge of this year and next I’m feeling hopeful, optimistic, and a little bit nervous, but as emotions go, I think that’s a pretty good place to be.

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