Musings and Snoozes

Even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise 

on December 22, 2016

And so Yule is finally here. The longest night has passed and finally, after what always seems like an eternity, we head towards the light again. And quite frankly, that’s pretty much how I feel about most things right now. 

Anyone who’s spent more than five minutes with me will know how much I love Christmas time. I can’t put into words what it is, I think it’s that feeling of togetherness and shared celebration that I love, even if it’s just the collective ways in which we all moan about it sometimes! But this year I have to admit, even I’ve found it hard to be quite so excited, or at least as wrapped up in all things festive as I usually am (pardon the pun). However the day after Yule officially started, my first day off work for the holidays, and probably the first time in months I’ve even considered relaxing,  I am now finally starting to feel it. 

Today, I allowed myself to rest almost completely, not just physically (although I fully enjoyed staying curled up in bed until early afternoon), but mentally too. Every time guilt took over that I should be doing something, I gave myself a talking to that for one day at least, it didn’t matter. Consequently the house still looks like a bomb’s hit it, I am not miraculously a size 8 after going to the gym, nor have my presents magically wrapped themselves. But, I do feel ready to face the world again. 

So in a burst of “yeah, I can do this”, Jon and I tackled the supermarket for Christmas food shopping this evening. I was under strict instructions not to channel Dad’s spirit in buying enough food to last all year – a task I semi achieved, in that we only have enough to last us six months maybe. But what’s Christmas without too much food, right?! And I didn’t actually murder anyone who got in my way with their trolley, or stood in front of the exact thing I needed off the shelf. So kudos to me I think. 

And so now I feel that little bit closer to the big day. And a little bit more like things will be okay. It’s been one hell of a roller-coaster in the last few months, but I’m taking a break, and more importantly, giving myself a break. If you need me now, I’ll be in the corner, singing Christmas songs and welcoming the light back where it belongs.


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